Our five year old daughter starts kindergarten next week. She is so excited. She will be 6 in November so she has been excited about school for a long time. She did her kindergarten testing yesterday, she said she did awesome! I was so proud of her and so grateful I've had the opportunity to be at home with her during the day.
Today I got a call and the sweet kindergarten teacher on the line informed me that because of our daughters test scores yesterday she is eligible for extended day. I discussed it with my husband and then our daughter, and the 3 of us decided she would do it.
Then the mom guilt set in. If only I had spent more time with her during the day. Even 30 more minutes over the years. She would know her alphabet better, write her name in lowercase and uppercase. She wouldn't keep skipping the number 17 when she counts to 20. She would've been able to make her circle look more like a circle instead of an oval.
Usually I just beat myself up with the mom guilt for a few days before trying to pull myself out of it. NOT TODAY! Why do we do this? Why? Why don't I just accept the fact that her ABC's have not been my priority?
You're right Mom Guilt. I didn't take the time needed for my daughter to know all her uppercase and lowercase letters. She still skips 17. EVERY TIME. But you know what MOM GUILT? She knows so many things.
She knows how to paint. With her fingers, her toes, a paintbrush, a sponge and even with her own hair. (although I confess I didn't teach her to paint with her hair) She knows how to help make a simple breakfast, warm up chili (among other things) for lunch and help with dinner. She makes a mean pizza, and she can knead the dough all by herself (when I let her). She knows where the hot pads are and how to not get burned from the stove. She can roller skate, ride a bike without training wheels, and run fast and climb trees. She knows how to safely use a power drill! And has lots of supervised experience with a hammer. She knows how to play with other kids and is starting to get a lot better at conflict resolution. She is getting pretty good at taking pictures on my phone and she loves taking care of baby dolls, and REAL babies. The thing I'm most proud of is that she knows how to imagine, and play by herself. She can create a world all her own and have a blast playing, REALLY playing. Should I keep going MOM GUILT? She may not be at the top of her kindergarten class academically but she is only 5 and she's already a rock star at this thing called life.
You might experience mom guilt in a different way, or for many other reasons. Maybe you're a single mom and don't have tons of extra time to play with them or read to your kids. Maybe you work from home and you feel guilty for letting them have screen time when your crunching out a deadline. Maybe you had fast food 5 nights in a row last week cuz you were just trying to survive and everything was happening at once. Whatever it is that is making you feel guilty, other moms deal with it too. We can help each other and get rid of the mom guilt. Your doing your best.
So today, or tomorrow, or whenever your mom guilt strikes again, give yourself a break and DON"T LISTEN! Let it go. Let the guilt and the negativity roll right off you girl! You GOT THIS! None of us are perfect. We got it. That does not mean we have to beat ourselves up. Instead of feeling defeated, take something constructive from the situation. For example, I am going to make a time each day to help my daughter with her ABC's. Just 15 minutes. I'm not gonna beat myself up anymore for what I didn't do, I'm just gonna start fresh and try something else.
You can too. Get rid of the MOM GUILT and help other moms be free from it as well. We need each other.