Not because of the unemployment, (although that didn't help) he has been unemployed before, but more because of the pressure this time around.
We have 6 kids. 6. We can't just go without paychecks for long periods of time. Kids eat way too much for that. For Real. Do they ever stop eating?
This time around it was excruciating. My husband was experiencing depression, I was experiencing anxiety, our kids were just kids and didn't really fully appreciate the gravity of the situation, so they kept being kids,
"Mom, I need more pencils!"
"Mom, my shoes have holes, when can we get more?"
"Dad, can we get ice cream tonight?"
We have worked really hard to help our kids understand the value of money, they weren't asking for new phones, t.v's, and cars. They just were being kids, but the pressure to provide for them and their basic needs and wants became almost unbearable.
We tried really hard to help each other through that time. And we DID help each other through that time, it didn't last forever. But it doesn't erase the fact that it was HARD.
The support, love, kindness, and help we received from our friends and family and even strangers was what got us through that hard time. So many people gave of their own time, energy and funds to help our family. We are humbled still by the amount of love and support people gave to us during those months of hardship for our family.
He did get a job after almost 6 months and he worked hard at his job. SO HARD. It was a hard job. At times his job was even harder than being unemployed had been. He dreaded going to work.
Then, last week, on Halloween day. He was let go. Layed OFF.
The company he worked for hasn't increased in revenue like they had planned and they started cutting back. My husband was one of the cutbacks.
He called me soon after and cried as he told me what had happened. He really wasn't sad because he didn't have THAT job. He hated it to be honest. But he has worked sooooooo hard to provide for our family. Sacrificed so much to make sure our needs are met. And here we go again.
We don't know what will happen. Or when it will happen. Or how it will happen.
But we have FAITH that it WILL HAPPEN.
We have been here before. This time hopefully we will learn even more from our past experiences. We will grow even closer together and stronger as a couple and as a family.
WE CAN DO THIS.
BUT IT"S HARD
There are days the stress and worry are overwhelming. Tears are always at the surface.
But there are also days where there is PEACE. Where we feel our Heavenly Father watching over us and we know He has a plan for us. We just can't see it yet.
I know many of you are facing hard things in your lives as well.
Infertility
Death
Loss
Unemployment
Sickness
Disease
Divorce
Abuse
Financial Hardship
Family stress
Single Parenthood
Child loss
Miscarriage
I don't know what each of these feels like. But I know what some of them feel like. I know it's hard. But I know we can do this.
With the help of friends, family, loved ones and the help of our loving Heavenly Father we can do this.
It will take time, tears, effort, prayer, tears, faith, work, sweat, and more tears, but we can do this.
True Strength comes when we least expect it, but when it's needed most.
If you need a friend or a listening ear. We are here. We love you.
Thanks for listening. or Reading.
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Now, I don't swim a lot, but I think it's a requirement with having little kiddos to have a swimming suit. Now, don't get me wrong, this swimsuit didn't have any magical powers. But it fit. It covered a good majority of my stretch marks, and didn't seem to draw any crazy attention to areas of my body that I really didn't care to have attention drawn to when I'm vulnerable and wet in the pool. So the idea of replacing it? Sounded treacherous. The idea of replacing it in October? Sounded basically impossible.
I ended up in a situation where we were in a much larger (and warmer) city with just enough time to squeeze in a quick, kid free shopping venture which is basically as ideal of a scenario as one could ask for.
I took a deep breath and began the long search through a row of outlet stores. My husband was more than cooperative and was truly supportive during a time he probably didn't even realize how much I needed it. We spent an hour in and out of a wide variety of stores. Some that I found had no swimsuits, some with swimsuits that reminded me of something my 17 year old self would have swiped right up but my have-had-children body flinched at, and some with suits that were way out of my "mandatory swimsuit need" budget.
After over 60 minutes of searching (and a 20 minute wait for a milkshake...) we left empty handed, except for the milkshake.
As we left, I turned to my husband and said "Well, at least I'm not crying so I'm calling this a win!" I laughed as I said it, but then couldn't get the words out of my mind. It made me sad to remember the many times shopping went so so much worse for me.
There was the time I first went up in jean size after high school and cried in the Buckle store in the middle of the dressing room because I couldn't fit in the size I had fit in for years and wasn't willing to try a bigger size.
There was the time at 37 weeks pregnant that I cried in the middle of Dillards because I needed shoes for a wedding just weeks after my new addition would be here but my feet were too swollen to fit into my normal size.
There was the time I ordered a dress just to discover it was WAY too small when it arrived just to keep it, because maybe one day it would fit. I then kept it buried in my closet hoping it would encourage me to want to make myself half my original size when really it just fueled my hatred for myself anytime I saw it.
My heart still hurts for that girl who couldn't hold in her fears and anger at her size any longer. I felt so alone. I cried in my closet as I couldn't figure out what jeans to squeeze into or which shirt would make me feel most comfortable in. I dreaded stepping on a scale or any discussions about weight. I was so unhappy with the girl in the mirror, I stopped looking in the mirror. I went through a stage where I was so angry at my body, I stopped taking care of my body. I know it sounds so counter-productive, but until you've been there you can't understand the want for change and the complete inability to know how to make it happen.
I am not saying my body magically became perfect, because *surprise* it didn't. And the way I felt about my body isn't something that changed overnight. In fact, there are still days where I have a bad day, and eat crumbl cookies in bed and regret it in the morning. But, it's something I'm working on. Instead of focusing on the size of my jeans, I focus on how I love the way they fit and make me feel. Instead of focusing on my stretchmarks, I am constantly reminded of how incredibly lucky I am to have grown my babies because bodies are amazing! As cliche as it sounds, the more I remember the positives of my body, the more I see them and can focus on it.
I hope that none of you cry anytime you think about shopping. Because, dang it no one should have to feel like that! But I hope if you do feel like that, you know that you aren't alone and you don't have to continue to feel like this. You can and should love your body just the way it is. You deserve it! So start today. Start with one thing you love (or even just like about your body) and build from there.
We want to be there alongside you on your path to see your own beauty! What kind of things do you do build yourself up? How do you love your body?
Thanks for reading,
Heather
]]>It's never easy.
Most of the time I just want to go back to bed. Sleep. It's glorious isn't it? But I want my dream more.
I crave it. I can see my dreams in front of me just waiting for me to achieve them.
I'll admit, I'm a dreamer. I have so many dreams. I've always been an optimistic person and so I can so often see the good in life and the possible, when others think it is impossible.
I've wasn't a runner in High School. I was athletic, softball and basketball were the sports I loved and I still love them. I usually ran for training or as punishment with my teams. But once I graduated from High School and Sports weren't a part of my daily life I needed a way to stay in shape, so although I still played sports once in a while, I started running, it helped me stay in shape. It helped me clear my head, It helped me relieve stress.
It was hard. It still is most days. I struggled to get past the 3 mile stage for years. YEARS. I had four kids when I finally signed up for a 10k and then a half marathon. It was really hard. My body hurt. It takes a long time to run that far. But I did it. I loved it!
Running is now an addiction of sorts. I love the feeling it gives me. I love feeling better about life and about my body. It has taught me many things. Mostly about how amazing my body is. It's also given me friendships. SO many wonderful people I have met because I have run with them.
Who knew my dream could ever give me so much? I merely wanted to be in shape and stay in shape and I have received so much more than that in return.
I love myself more then I ever had.
I love others and love to help them on their running journey.
I crave being outside to exercise, even when it's dark or cold or wet.
I get to see the world when most people are asleep.
I appreciate exercise and how it helps my body.
I never could have hope for a dream that would change my life like being a runner.
What are you're dreams? What are you doing to chase them and achieve them?
How can we help? You should go for your dreams? It will change your life!
Get up when you'd rather not. Work when no one else is. Strive daily for that goal or dream that will give you all you hope for. Go for it.
]]>When's the last time you counted? When's the last time you even cared? Personally I counted just for this blog post. I have 20. 20 pairs of SHOES!
We just want more shoes, Right?
It doesn't matter how many we have, we just love them.
We want sandals and flip flops in the summer. Booties and sneakers in the fall. Boots and Galoshes in the winter. Anything and everything in the spring since who knows what the weather will do?
Sometimes we buy shoes just because they go with a specific outfit. ONE OUTFIT. Have you done this? I have.
About a year ago in Church a wonderful sister stood up and gave a lesson on something to do with Charity (sorry! it wasn't the lesson I remembered it was this story, stay with me) as she gave the lesson she illustrated a particular point by talking about her experience in our county with Homeless Children. She gave a bunch of statistics and talked about how she was always trying to raise funds to buy these homeless kids in our area shoes. SHOES. Something I have plenty of. As a matter of fact, I have plenty of almost everything compared to these kids. What she said touched me. It stayed with me. I have thought of it often. When we opened the boutique last March an idea occurred to me. We have discussed it as business partners. We discussed it with the amazing sister at my church and now that school is back in session we are gonna do something about it.
When most of us think about homeless people, we think about adults. We think about them wandering the street, filling up shelters, camping in parks or in the mountains. But somehow we seem to forget the children. Children who love their parents, Children who need their families, they also need an education, to help with their siblings, to help their families survive. These kids are amazing!
In Iron County Utah there are 400 homeless children between the ages of 6-18. That's School age. That's 400 kids who didn't have money for back to school supplies, let alone clothes and shoes. They didn't show up at school on the first day with a pink glitter pencil box, a new backpack and Oreo's in their lunch box. They came with what they already had. Sometimes that is the clothes on their backs. Sometimes those clothes wear out before they can get more clothes. Sometimes it's their shoes. WE CAN HELP! YOU CAN HELP!
Last year in Iron County my friend Diane Janes helped gather and donate 150 pairs of shoes for these kids in need. Over half of those went towards High School aged kids. The rest went to the middle schools, Elementary kids and a few went to our Local Head-start preschool. She purchased these shoes by raising money herself. She's pretty darn amazing right?
Here at Everyday Eden Boutique we wanna help. We want kids to be kids. We wanna help take one worry of the plate of these amazing kids. We wanna help get them shoes.
So, here's the deal. Until the end of September we are doing a SHOE DRIVE for the Iron County School District here in Southern Utah.
10% of all Sales from Everyday Eden Boutique will go towards buying shoes for the Homeless Kids in Iron County Utah that need shoes.
If you would like, you can donate directly to the fund and all that money will go towards buying shoes for homeless kids in Iron County.
You can donate directly by using Venmo or Paypal us at Everyday Eden Boutique and we will account for those funds and make sure they go towards the shoe drive. (Please make a note when you donate that says SHOE DRIVE)
Our Venmo account is @Everyday-Eden
Our Paypal account is everydayedenboutique@gmail.com
We will also work with Diane Janes and our school districts Homeless Liason to order and purchase shoes at wholesale prices for these children. We will do another shoe drive later in the school year and meet more needs later.
Don't worry if you don't have a lot to give. A little can go a long way. $5 contributes a lot when your buying shoes.
Lets help kids be kids. These ones have enough to worry about.
Please share this post and help us get the word out.
]]>When our oldest child (a girl) was just over a year old we noticed that she couldn't see in the dark. This was a little worrisome to us but we didn't freak out about it because we didn't know we should for one, and we didn't have any clue of the implications for another, the most important reason is that we weren't ready for the truth at that point in our lives. As she got older we started noticing more clues that something wasn't right with her vision. She would trip over things in dim light. She would freeze in the dark and not know where things were located. She NEVER got out of bed at night, unless there were bright lights on.
We took her to her first eye appointment when she was about 3-4 and the optometrist examined her and agreed that she needed glasses for nearsightedness but did not believe us about night blindness. It just did not occur in children that young. It wasn't possible. This happened for 3-4 more years, every year we would go to the eye doctor and plead with them to do a more extensive exam, longing for some kind of answer. Every time it was the same thing. "Kids don't get night blindness this young". "You're worrying too much"
Then the year she was going to turn 8 we took her to her annual exam, and once again I told the doctor of how she ran into things in the dim light and dark. How I knew in my heart something was going on with her eyes. He did the regular eye exam and said he couldn't see anything wrong with her eyes.
Then I asked a question I hadn't thought to ask before, "Will you do the same exam, but in the dark?"
I honestly think this awesome doctor (He really is awesome! He just thought I was going ballistic momma bear on him.) thought I was crazy, but he agreed. He did an extra exam on our daughter but it the dark, like pitch black. He came away from the machine and said, "Something is wrong with her eyes! You need to see a specialist!" I was so relieved to hear those words I didn't even think about the fact that it might be easier to NOT KNOW what was going on.
We saw a specialist as soon as they could get us in. Once again we did an eye exam and the doctor told us she only needed glasses to correct her vision. There was nothing else wrong with her eyes. I knew he was wrong. I begged for more tests, thinking back I should've demanded them, but I wasn't assertive enough at that point in my life. Something about my complete desperation, or concern for my daughter caused this doctor to act. He told me of a test that would take pictures of our daughters eyes during all different types of light. She was so young she'd have to be put to sleep in order to do the test but it would give us the results we needed in order to see what was going on inside her eyes.
The day of the test came, and as any mother waiting for their child to go under anesthesia, I was nervous, for her, for me, for what the diagnosis would be, and whether or not I was just a crazy person. As I sat in the waiting room I saw several doctors come in, quietly talk to parents and then take them back to recovery to see their child, this was all done right there in the waiting room. When my daughters doctor came in, he asked me to come in a tiny room off to the side of the waiting room where no one would be able to overhear us. He told me in a shocked sort of voice that they had, in deed, found something. Our daughter was suffering from the effects from a genetic degenerative eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa. She was in fact suffering from night blindness. She could not see in the dark. Even dim light cause her to be partially blind and lose contrast. Her peripheral vision would slowly degenerate until at some point, (probably in her teens) she will only have a pin hole of sight in either eye. A small percentage of people suffering from this disease also lose their hearing. She would need to have her eyes and ears tested every year to help track the progress of the disease and help her to adjust to the changes that would take place.
Having a diagnosis was a relief. Having a diagnosis was also a nightmare of sorts. Knowing what the problem was, helped us to help her, but knowing the doctors could do little to help her (there is no treatment and no known cure) was heartbreaking and mind numbing.
The next couple of years we tried our best to help her understand what was happening to her eyes and why she had to see so many doctors. While the eye disease was complex to deal with we started noticing a few things with our daughter that we felt needed to be checked into and tested. Her fingers were growing a little crooked and sometimes they would ache at night. We decided to consult her pediatrician who immediately got us in for an appointment and ran some tests. Everything she tested for came back negative so she recommended we see a geneticist for additional testing.
Within a month we were doing genetic testing and filling out more forms and paperwork then I ever thought possible. (and I've filled out a lot of forms!) As we waited for our appointment with the geneticist I admit I was doubtful anything would come of the appointment. So many doctors had been discouraged by our daughters case, so many had said they didn't believe anything was wrong. But when the doctor came in the room he was enthusiastic, energetic, inquisitive and optimistic. He examined our daughter and took what seemed like a million measurements. Then we went for x rays and testing. They took so. many. pictures. so many. My husband and I and our daughter were all tested for some general genetic makeups and then some additional genetic testing for our daughter.
The results took a few weeks, but only a few days after they drew our daughters blood I got a call from the geneticist. He said, "I know what your daughter has! I studied it in medical school, it's super rare, but she fits all the criteria. It's called Mainzer Saldino syndrome. I've contacted a colleague of mine and we both agreed she fits. I want you to make an appointment with a nephrologist ASAP and lets start making sure she is taken care of!"
Personally, I thought this doctor was putting the cart before the horse. But sure enough the results came back and she was diagnosed with a disease that to date has only 22 living cases diagnosed in the WORLD. What?!? Honestly the next six months were a blur. She started being followed by her pediatrician, a geneticist, a nephrologist, an ENT and her ophthalmologist. The appointments got to be exhausting, but the alternative is worse.
Mainzer Saldino Syndrome is a genetic progressively degenerative disease. It includes the Retinitis Pigmentosa that causes eventual blindness and possibly hearing loss. It attacks the kidneys (which is why she sees a kidney doctor), she is currently in stage 2 kidney failure (stabilized and monitored), there are several bone structures in her body that are affected (mostly shorter then they are supposed to be), and once her kidneys fail, the disease will attack her liver.
Without her amazing doctors the disease in her body would simply have it's way with her. Her life is being prolonged and made better by the simple procedures and medications her doctors have found to help her. She has lost about 50% of her vision. At her last appointment the doctors told her she will never have a drivers license. She will most likely need a kidney transplant at some point in the future.
Sometimes when my husband and I read stories about people with only her eye disease, or only the kidney problems we get overwhelmed, then we remember she has all of these things rolled into one. Then we can't even think straight. But through this entire ordeal we cannot deny the God has watched over our daughter, He has placed people, doctors, therapists into her life to help her, and to help us as her parents. It hasn't been an easy process, we find we are continuously mourning for the things that she may never get to see or do in this life. Don't get me wrong. We do our best to not focus on the negative, we have seen so many miracles along the way. So many wonderful friendships and tender mercies that have greatly blessed her life and our lives. There may even come a time she is grateful she can't see.
But sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's hard to think she won't ever drive her friends around on a Friday night. Sometimes it's really hard that her days of spending hours reading books aloud to her siblings, where she does all the character voices are going to just be memories, because she won't be able to see the words. Sometimes it's just hard to think she might never see more then a pin hole of her own child face, in fact she may never have her own child because her bone structure might not allow her too, or she might not want to risk passing this disease on to her child. Sometimes it's just hard.
Most the time, it's just a part of what we do. We make sure things are cleaned up off the floor so she doesn't trip. We have really bright lights in her room so she can see exactly what she needs to. We help her learn to find her way in the dark. We train our other children to guide her and help her. We don't do things for her, but we make sure she has the opportunity to try, fail and succeed. We give her the opportunity to see things and have incredible experiences. We hope to give her many more of those experiences before her sight disappears. These things are just part of what we do.
The best part of this whole story is my daughter. My daughter is a young woman filled with courage. She is brave. She is fierce. She might be quiet, even timid, but she is strong. So strong. She takes the hard things and she does them anyway, she gets back up every time she falls. She adapts to the changes her body and eyes need and she exceeds the expectations every single time. She is such an incredible example to me. We are so grateful for the many things she is teaching us to see. We see people in need, they may look normal but they need help anyway. Because of her we see them. We see that people can hide pain, we love them anyway. She teaches us that it's ok to be in pain. It's ok to mourn the loss of abilities or dreams. She also teaches us it's still ok to dream, to try anyway. The lessons will keep on coming. She will keep on teaching.
We have a daughter. She's going blind. She helps us to see.
]]>Today I got a call and the sweet kindergarten teacher on the line informed me that because of our daughters test scores yesterday she is eligible for extended day. I discussed it with my husband and then our daughter, and the 3 of us decided she would do it.
Then the mom guilt set in. If only I had spent more time with her during the day. Even 30 more minutes over the years. She would know her alphabet better, write her name in lowercase and uppercase. She wouldn't keep skipping the number 17 when she counts to 20. She would've been able to make her circle look more like a circle instead of an oval.
Usually I just beat myself up with the mom guilt for a few days before trying to pull myself out of it. NOT TODAY! Why do we do this? Why? Why don't I just accept the fact that her ABC's have not been my priority?
You're right Mom Guilt. I didn't take the time needed for my daughter to know all her uppercase and lowercase letters. She still skips 17. EVERY TIME. But you know what MOM GUILT? She knows so many things.
She knows how to paint. With her fingers, her toes, a paintbrush, a sponge and even with her own hair. (although I confess I didn't teach her to paint with her hair) She knows how to help make a simple breakfast, warm up chili (among other things) for lunch and help with dinner. She makes a mean pizza, and she can knead the dough all by herself (when I let her). She knows where the hot pads are and how to not get burned from the stove. She can roller skate, ride a bike without training wheels, and run fast and climb trees. She knows how to safely use a power drill! And has lots of supervised experience with a hammer. She knows how to play with other kids and is starting to get a lot better at conflict resolution. She is getting pretty good at taking pictures on my phone and she loves taking care of baby dolls, and REAL babies. The thing I'm most proud of is that she knows how to imagine, and play by herself. She can create a world all her own and have a blast playing, REALLY playing. Should I keep going MOM GUILT? She may not be at the top of her kindergarten class academically but she is only 5 and she's already a rock star at this thing called life.
You might experience mom guilt in a different way, or for many other reasons. Maybe you're a single mom and don't have tons of extra time to play with them or read to your kids. Maybe you work from home and you feel guilty for letting them have screen time when your crunching out a deadline. Maybe you had fast food 5 nights in a row last week cuz you were just trying to survive and everything was happening at once. Whatever it is that is making you feel guilty, other moms deal with it too. We can help each other and get rid of the mom guilt. Your doing your best.
So today, or tomorrow, or whenever your mom guilt strikes again, give yourself a break and DON"T LISTEN! Let it go. Let the guilt and the negativity roll right off you girl! You GOT THIS! None of us are perfect. We got it. That does not mean we have to beat ourselves up. Instead of feeling defeated, take something constructive from the situation. For example, I am going to make a time each day to help my daughter with her ABC's. Just 15 minutes. I'm not gonna beat myself up anymore for what I didn't do, I'm just gonna start fresh and try something else.
You can too. Get rid of the MOM GUILT and help other moms be free from it as well. We need each other.
Featured Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash
Bubble Photo by Leo Rivas on Unsplash
swing Photo by Olivia Bauso on Unsplash
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For some reason that statement kept ringing in my ears for hours after I said it. So I started pondering and thinking about that statement. I started thinking about all the things I don't know. The list is long. Very Long. EXTREMELY long. It was discouraging. A little depressing. Although impressive in length.
Then I started thinking about all the THINGS I KNOW and was startled by the differences in the lists. The "Don't Know" list was focused more on small facts that could be learned, or couldn't be learned(AP calculus for example) or obscure events, feelings or religious doctrines that may or may not be understood in this life. The things I don't know can be troubling or frustrating or even motivating. But the "THINGS I KNOW" list brings me comfort, helps me reach higher, makes me want to be a better person (not just gain smarts) and I feel gives me more opportunities to empower myself and those around me. So in the past week as I have pondered these two very different lists, I've decided to focus on the list of things I know. Today I'm gonna share a few with you.
KINDNESS MATTERS
Kindness really does matter. A lot. Last year kindness was something I focused all everyday. It made a huge difference in my life. I was surprised how often reacting with kindness changed the entire atmosphere of our home for the day, or when I didn't react with kindness how it could destroy that same atmosphere.
Several times when I treated the people around me with kindness instead of judging them rudely or treating them impatiently they told me stories of how hard their day had been, and how my kindness helped them feel better about life in general. The number one group of people I saw that truly need more kindness were customer service people at stores. So many people treat them harshly, with rudeness, act like everything is their fault. They are just trying to do their job. Slow down! Speak and act with kindness. See them for the people of value that they are. Be kind. They will in turn almost always give kindness back.
WE ARE ALL IMPORTANT
I am important. You are important. Everyone is important. You have incredible and immense value. In my religion we believe we are children of GOD. We have infinite value that cannot be diminished by choices we make or things other people do to us, or even things we do to ourselves. Our Value never decreases. You are a masterpiece. Created by Deity. Treat yourself as such. Treat others as such. You life, your self worth will get better, just because you are showing faith and trust in your own importance and the importance of those around you.
SERVICE BRINGS HAPPINESS
Whenever I feel picked on, and lousy. Whenever I just can't seem to find anything about my life that good. Service is something that can bring me out of the funk. When I was pregnant with every single one of our 6 children I would get sick for the first 14-18 weeks. Feeling crappy, throwing up 3-7 times a day, physically exhausted and lets face it, depressed. I will function on auto pilot on my best days and lay in bed crying (and throwing up) on my worst. For almost every pregnancy there would come a time around 12-14 weeks were my amazing husband would come to me, sit by my bedside and say something like "You need to get up. You need to think about someone besides yourself. I'm sorry you feel like crap, I wish I could take this from you, but you've got to serve someone else."
You may say he was insensitive. But he was right. He knew that I was so focused on myself and how crappy I felt that I needed a reason to get out of bed, and that reason wasn't going to be me. (I was the reason I wanted to stay there) Every single time I listened to him and thought about the friends, neighbors and family members that I could serve, got out of bed, or off the couch and served someone, the depression started to lessen. The days slowly became better. The time in bed got shorter. I started to feel happier. Now you may argue that my morning sickness was just going away around that time. Or that my hormones were leveling out in the second trimester. You say whatever makes you feel better. SERVICE makes me feel better.
GRATITUDE CHANGES ATTITUDE
I tell this to my kids all the time. I need to practice it more. Whenever I feel like Life is really kicking me when I'm down, I need to be grateful. I have soooo many blessings. I have a home, a Family, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, Children to love me and to love, a loving husband, the list goes on and on. When I focus on the many things I have instead of what I want, or think I deserve, my attitude changes. Gratitude can change your attitude. You just have to try.
EVERYONE DESERVES RESPECT
This goes back to the golden rule, "TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED." I believe this. I should treat everyone I come in contact with how I would want to be treated in that situation. There are times I struggle with this, there are many who have done horrific things to others, especially children. The mob mentality would be to ask for horrific things to be done to that person as punishment. But I truly believe everyone deserves respect, even when they deserve the death penalty they deserve the respect they refused their victims. I'm not saying they deserve cable TV and incredible food and everyone to treat them perfectly as they live out their sentence. But they do deserve basic necessities of life, a fair trial and a fair consequence for their actions. That is respect.
I'm also a big advocate for respect of the Elderly. More and more children are showing no regard for the elderly and the wisdom and life they have given to their family and those around them. The elderly around us whether we know them personally or not deserve respect, and a lending hand whenever needed. We will all be there someday, God willing. Open a door, load their groceries, help them find what they are looking for. Serve them, respect them, they deserve it.
HARD WORK PAYS OFF
Whether your mowing lawns, fixing cars, writing contract law, doing heart surgeries, or cleaning house and putting band aids on boo boos, hard work pays off. Get in there, get dirty, get the job done. I hate wasting time when I know I could be getting things done. I know there's a time and a place for relaxing and having a good time, but the truth is life isn't all about play. Hard work will get you to your goals, hard work will pay off. So buckle down get the job done and move on up to the next level. Do the best you can at whatever it is your doing and people will notice. You can live your dreams, but first you gotta earn them.
Now this is obviously not a comprehensive list of the Things I Know but honestly. I think this is a pretty good list. A very important one. Probably more important then AP Calculus. Sorry Mr. Corsi.
Featured Photo by Andrea Tummons on Unsplash
Important Photo by Autumn Goodman on Unsplash
Hard Work Photo by Maxime Agnelli on Unsplash
]]>Sometimes I look around and wonder why there is so much unrest, so many shouting that something isn't fair. Protests where thousands flock, participate and then turn around and go home, then schedule another protest or rally but change isn't implemented.
I personally am more of an observer than a participate in most things. I like to sit back, asses, analyze, then come up with a plan. I honestly don't know how to fix many of the problems that have arisen in our days. I can't solve everything that's unfair and unjust, and I certainly can't change the way people feel about those that are different them them.
We were all born different. We were raised different. We should be grateful for our differences. Our differences are what make our towns, cities, states and countries so incredible. Our differences are what give us the potential for growth and strength. What really makes us strong is when we help one another and work together to make things happen. We are at our best when we cross the street, cross the lines that divide us and talk, serve, lift each other and make a difference. I have seen the power and strength that comes from looking at others with their differences and seeing potential, seeing common ground, and working to not overcome them, but to help others with them.
This country doesn't have freedoms because we wanted everyone to be the same, It was because we wanted people to be themselves and saw the potential for the strength that could bring us. We can help another reach our potential, and help our country to do the same.
The people in our country are what makes our country great.
Happy Fourth of July everyone!
Photo by Josh Johnson on Unsplash
Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash
]]>Even with my excitement about trying to lose the weight, I have to admit I was terrified to step on that court and play ball with those ladies. I really don't know why, I played ball in High school and loved it. I loved the friendships I built and the exercise I got, and the skills I improved. But to tell the truth, basketball brings out my insecurities. ALL. OF. THEM.
I feel slow.
I feel fat.
I feel less skilled then everyone else.
I am sure I'm the worst player on the court.
I feel yucky, sweaty and ugly.
In short. I listen to the demons in my head on the basketball court. I had been avoiding them. For years. I had picked up hobbies and participated in activities that even if I wasn't the best, they made me feel like I was improving myself. Basketball doesn't do that for me. At-least it didn't then. I decided to commit to my friend to be there a couple times a week and give it a valiant try.
It was hard!
Really hard. I would show up and walk in that gym and immediately the demons would point out that I was fatter than everyone else. The other girls weren't happy to see me. They didn't want me to come. I'd be so nervous I'd have to pee a couple times before we even started playing. And you know what? I was rusty. Not playing basketball for years had taken it's toll. It took me some time to remember all the things I learned in high school. And it's taking even longer for me to actually re-develop the skills enough to actually do whats supposed to be done. There were days when honestly I left that gym in tears and vowed to not come back. And yet I did. Over and over again.
WHY?
Because I started to want what all the other amazing ladies that came to basketball seemed to have, they seemed to be having so much fun, they seemed confident, energetic and competitive. They were athletes. Many of them had played ball beyond High School and were extremely talented. I wanted to be more confident. I wanted to play basketball for FUN. I wanted playing ball to make me more energetic rather then pee in terror. I wanted to conquer the demons.
So I kept going. I kept playing. It's been about 18 months since I started playing ball with the amazing ladies here in town. And you know what? The demons aren't completely gone. They still come out on the basketball court. They still taunt me and tear me down. Only when I listen to them. I used to listen to them each and every time. But I'm listening less and less.
Basketball is more fun then it has ever been. I'm more confident on the court then I have ever been. (That's still not much. but I'm working on it!) I feel like I contribute to the team effort. And those wonderful ladies have been so incredibly patient with me. They have taught me so much. I've learned about patience on the court. I've learned about accepting people for who they are. I've seen them contribute hundreds of dollars to other basketball ladies in need. I've watched them serve each other. I watched them encourage and help ladies who are struggling or having a hard time. I've seen them comfort those that are mourning or having trials in their lives. I wouldn't say they are my "bestest friends" in the whole wide world. They don't tell me their deepest darkest secrets and I don't tell them mine. But the love and friendship on that court each time we play is unlike anything I've ever been a part of. It's true friendship.
While I still get a little nervous once in awhile to step on the basketball court, the friendship, the fun, and the thrill of the game always trumps the demons. I'm grateful for an opportunity to play basketball, to learn to shut the demons out, and to get stronger in the mean time. I don't know how long I'll have the blessing and opportunity to play with those incredible women, but I do know it's worth it. Every single time.
In many ways, facing my insecurities on the basketball court and working to overcome them prepared me in many ways to start Everyday Eden. I learned failure is just a beginning, not the end. I've learned to pick myself up and just keep on trying. I've learned that practice might not ever make perfect but it sure helps make you better. I've needed these things as we tackle this business.
I'm honestly not sure any of my amazing basketball friends will ever read this post. But I want them to know they have changed me. Forever. For the better.
Featured Photo by www.bethanyallenphotography.com @bethanyallenphotography
1st body Photo by Jovan on Unsplash
2nd body Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash
]]>If I want my children to think positively about their amazing bodies, I can't always be tearing mine down. Here are 5 things I've tried to implement in my life that have helped me improve my body image. Maybe they can help you too!
#1 Positive Affirmations
POSITIVE affirmations are self affirming sayings or mantras that you can repeat to yourself. The key for me is to use them in place of all the negative things I am used to telling myself. When we tell ourselves something over and over again the more likely we are to actually believe it. This goes for negative as well as positive things so be CAREFUL when you are talking to yourself about your body or mind, keep it POSITIVE. Start small and work towards more positive thoughts.
Now, please don't lie to yourself. For example, Don't start with "I Love Myself" a hundred times a day when that's not true. Start with something like "I can accept myself for who I am." or "It's ok for my body to be a work in progress"
I've posted affirmations on my mirror, I've said affirmations to myself during discouraging times, or just on a daily basis. Affirmations have helped me to accept things I can't change and work harder on things I can.
What are some of your favorite Positive Affirmations?
#2 Take Care of your BODY
When your body is a priority and you take time to TREAT it well, you will understand more what your body needs and meet those needs better. When you show your body respect and love, you will develop a better relationship with your body. When our bodies are worn down and pushed way passed our limits we don't have the energy we need to take care of those around us. When we take care of ourselves we can better do all the things that are asked of us.
There are so many ways to take care of your body. Here are some of my favorites.
Pedicures
Rest
Detox Baths
Baths in general
Exercise
Massages
Relaxing
Healthy Sexual Relationships
#3 Set and Meet Goals
This is one of my favorite ways to change my thinking about my body. When we set a goal and secretly don't think we can do it, but then WE DO! We can tell ourselves how great we did, we can remember the things we have accomplished during discouraging times. When we are feeling down or weak or discouraged we can say "Hey! Remember that time we ____________, we are so strong. We can do this!"
If your petrified of failure, start small. Work up to bigger goals. But don't be afraid to dream and chase those dreams.
Wanna run a marathon? Start with a walk around the block. Work your way to a 5K. Then a 10K. Then do a half marathon. Then another half Marathon. Then start training for a full marathon. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!
YOU GOT THIS.
#4 Ask for Affirmations From Others
One of the best ways to pull yourselves out of the trenches and start thinking positively about your body is to ask for help from someone you trust. Your spouse, best friend, mom, sister, neighbor or buddy. Ask them to help you see the good in yourself. Ask them to help you find positive affirmations to say to yourself. You could tell them some about them too and make it a trade.
#5 Pray and Ask For Help From Above
Now, some of you may not be religious, by we might as well get this out of the way. We here at Everyday Eden are very religious ladies.We believe that we have a loving, kind Heavenly Father (God), who not only cares about us and created our bodies uniquely for us, but He wants us to succeed. He wants YOU to succeed and to appreciate your body for the incredible master piece that it is.
If you are struggling to see the good in your masterpiece of a body ask your creator to help you. HE WILL LISTEN. He may not answer in the way you expect, but He will help you to see the beautiful, strong, masterpiece you are. YOU are so many wonderful things. If you don't believe me, that's ok, but ask HIM that made you and please believe Him, let HIM show you your greatness and strength.
We love you. Here at Everyday Eden we want you to know that your size, hair color, weight, or any number of things describing your body do not define you. You get to choose how you see yourself. YOU GET TO CHOOSE. Choose well sweet friends. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Featured Photo by Roberto Delgado Webb on Unsplash
Photo #1 by Septian simon on Unsplash
]]>Since we took over the boutique in March it's been a constant part of my life. I stay up late adding products to the store, I check the coding for the menu to make sure it's connecting links right, I write and then rewrite product descriptions, I debate whether that picture is best or another one or both, or maybe we need more or better photos. I watch training video after training video to learn better, more efficient ways to build a store website, and faster more secure ways for customers to see and buy our products. Then there's social media. Some recommend Facebook, others say Instagram, and a host of others. There's literally thousands of different people giving advice on how to advertise and reach people. The most common thread I can find among all these things is that in order for you (our customers), to trust us (EVERYDAY EDEN BOUTIQUE) we need to CONNECT with you.
"CONNECTING with someone usually means you are in tune with that person on a deeper level and you understand one another in a way you might not with others. Sometimes there is no need to even speak to the other person to understand their feelings." (Google Dictionary 2019)
We here at Everyday Eden know we haven't built that relationship of trust yet. We might not ever understand the things you have going on in your personal lives. Connecting through Social Media is hard. It takes time, energy and so much effort. I'm absolutely sure many of you face the same problem. How do you spend your time so that the most important things and people get the connection with you they deserve?
You (the 20 people that might actually read this) work, play, have families, friends, hobbies, obligations to relatives or neighbors or friends that need something from you. It's so hard sometimes to pick the best things out of all the good things and make connections.
Do I make a special dinner for my husband? or read extra stories to my kids?
Do I make an ad for my business? Or take my kids to the park?
Do I weed my garden? Or stay up on the laundry?
Do I go out with my significant other? Or help my neighbor move?
The list goes on and on. The choices are endless.
Do we connect with one another?
OR The little people in our care?
The lonely neighbor next door?
The mourning friend who just lost a loved one?
How do we fit it all in?
How do you?
For me it's a constant process, I constantly have to re-evaluate what my choices are and change them, tweak them to fit the circumstances of that day.
While I've been writing this, I've stopped to cut apples and pop popcorn for hungry little munchkins. I've ignored phone calls. I've stopped to listen to a 7 year old tell me a story. Connections are an important part of our lives. And honestly we realize that connecting with us here at EVERYDAY EDEN BOUTIQUE isn't the most important connection in your life. You have more important things to do then always be looking at our clothes or social media posts.
We hope to see you and hear from you in the moments when you do have time. When the more important things are quiet and taken care of. And we hope that not only we can help you and encourage you during this crazy life, but that the connection can go both ways, we'd love to hear what you need, like and want.
We know our customers are incredible women with strength, power and understanding. We hope that during the sparse amount of free time we see you in, that we can help one another. That our connections can grow. And that maybe in some small way we strengthen each other.
]]>I trained HARD for this race. Let's be completely honest. I was afraid of failing. I did not know for sure I could run a marathon and so I did everything I could to make sure my body would have what it takes to finish the race.
I ate healthy. I cut out sugar. I ran. I did speed work. I ran. Then I ran some more. Experts recommend running 18-20 miles as your longest run a month before the race, I ran 22. OK so I wasn't just afraid of not finishing the race I was petrified. So to pacify my fears and conquer my goal I worked my tail off. (Quite literally)
So what happened you ask?
I finished of course!
It was so hard. So amazing! So incredible! So Exhausting!
Now, to be completely open and real about this I am not a "fast" runner. I didn't run cross country in high school, I don't run 7 minute miles unless I'm dreaming, so I knew this wasn't going to be an easy race for me. But hard work pays off!
As we started the race I felt so amazing. The Starting line on Race Day is an incredible place. So much energy in one place is electrifying! For the first 5 miles I could see hundreds of runners in front of me and hundreds behind me. Everyone was talking and laughing and encouraging each other. After about 9 miles the half marathoners split from the full marathoners and we started an 8 mile steady climb. Now I practice on hills, anybody that knows the southern Utah area, knows you can't run very far without running a hill. So I knew what to expect. But towards the 21st mile I hit "the wall".
"The Wall" is what athletes use to describe mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. It is literally a time during a race when you don't feel like you can go another step. Doubt, Fear, Pain and exhaustion all hit and it takes everything you have to just keep going. I kept going!
I finished in 4 hours and 17 minutes. A 10 minute mile average. And you know what? My body is sooooo amazing! For two weeks after the race I felt like I had conquered the world. I was so amazed by my body and the incredible feat it had accomplished. I felt self love!
Now I have been working on feeling self love more and more for all of my adult life. As a teenager I admit I was too critical of my body, I didn't really even try to have self love. But it's been a constant process in my adult life. It's something I will still continue to work on. Running a marathon was beneficial for my self love, it didn't fix my self love issues but it's helped me on my journey.
Like many of you my self love journey has been one with lots of ups and downs. I am 36 years old. I married at 21 and had my first child when I was 22. Our final and 6th child was born when I was 34. So in 13 years my body had 6 children, 3 miscarriages, gained 240 pounds and lost 235 pounds (why do those last 5 hang on so tight?) say nothing about 6 full term pregnancies with all the symptoms, discomfort, labor and deliveries. My body has been through so much! I have done my best to take care of my body, but far too often I did not appreciate it for all it was doing for me, I did not love it. The past month I have learned so much about the incredible things my body does, and more and more I am feeling an increase of self love. I'm grateful for my self love journey. I'm grateful for my body.
What incredible things has your body done?
How do you show yourself self love?
]]>We hope you all enjoy the new shop! Please let us know what you like and what you would like to see!
Thanks for Reading
Diane, Heather and Sherilee
]]>This is still a topic that is hard for me to talk about because I still haven’t managed to make total peace with the image staring back at me in the mirror. I still, try as I might, engage in some of the things I am going to talk about in this post. The thing is, I have 3 daughters now and they are the reason that I fight each and everyday to overcome my eating disorder and create awareness for this sickness. I hope with all my heart they never find themselves where I did. I guess that is why I share my story with others. Hoping that it helps just one person choose to love themselves instead of taking the road of self hatred.
I have read a million posts about this topic. You can find me nodding my head in agreement with most of them. However, there are a few things that will get my blood to the boiling pretty darn fast. So, let’s start there…
1.You can tell your daughter she is beautiful- You can. It’s okay. In fact I think you should. The word beautiful doesn’t have to just encompass what someone looks like physically. When I think of the people in my life who I consider beautiful it has nothing to do with the way they look, but everything to do with WHO THEY ARE and how they live their life!
We can’t shelter our children from the world. It is impossible. No matter how hard you try your daughter is going to hear what the world defines beauty as. Not telling her she is beautiful is not going to win the war against insecurity. It will just create it in another form. Here is an example. One of my very best friends was raised by a mom who didn’t believe in complimenting her children for fear that it would make them have a big head. Growing up my friend never felt like her mom was proud of her. Instead of a big head my friend grew up with no self confidence. Her mom solved the problem of being conceited but created an even worse problem with a daughter who struggled with her own worth and value.
You don’t fight that battle by ignoring it. You fight the battle when you re-define what beautiful is in your home. You tell her she is beautiful because you might be the only one who ever does. You tell her she is beautiful because she IS. She is God’s creation. You tell her she is beautiful and you show her what real beauty looks like.
You teach her that beautiful people are kind, caring, giving, accepting, loving, courageous, and honest. You are her first and greatest teacher. Teach her what beautiful means to you. That way, when you tell her she is beautiful she thinks of everything BUT what she looks like on the outside.
2. It’s okay to teach her how to take care of herself- By taking care of herself, I am not just talking about her physical appearance. Yes, take the time to teach her how to do her hair, or how to apply her make-up if she wants it, teach her about hygiene, take her shopping and help her pick clothes that will represent her and make her feel her best. Take the time to compliment her on her self care. Say things like”your outfit is super cute, your hair looks darling today, I never would have thought to put that scarf with that top, but you rock it!” Teach her that it is important to take care of ourselves physically but don’t let that be all you teach her. Teach her how to take care of herself on the inside. Teach her about kindness to others, but also kindness to herself. Encourage her to find a purpose greater than herself. Teach her the power of service and the impact it has on our happiness. Teach her that happy girls are the prettiest and that happiness comes from who you are, not what you look like.
3. Make peace with YOUR own body- She will become what she sees from you. She will follow your example. If you don’t love your own body, she will learn to not love hers. It is so important that you make peace with your own reflection so that she can to. Teach her what body acceptance looks like. Take the time to connect to who you are outside of your body. Here is a great list of things you can do to help make peace with your own body- http://www.uhs.berkeley.edu/edaw/TenSteps.pdf
Remember you are so much MORE than your body.
In the words of a wise friend “STOP whining about your birthday. Stop complaining about your wrinkles, boobs, thighs, whatever. Put all of that ENERGY you are wasting by wishing you LOOKED different into BECOMING different. CHOOSE to keep working on who you are…what you know…what you can do…how you take care of yourself…how and who you love and serve. Choice is so powerful and truly the only thing we own. Your body is nothing but a conduit for your accomplishments and expressions of who you truly are. Keep it healthy and in a state of attractiveness so that it doesn’t limit your ability to progress, but remember that progression has nothing to do with the specifics of what you look like.”
4. We exercise because we are honoring our body and we want it to be healthy, not because we want to change it. So many times we exercise because we want to change something about ourselves physically. We want a washboard stomach, and arms that don’t jiggle when we wave goodbye because that is what society says is acceptable. We need to reprogram our minds about why we engage in exercise. We shouldn’t exercise with the expectation of change. We should exercise with the expectation that we feel better when we do. We should exercise to thank our body, not change it. Avoid making physical activity about a size or what you ate. Be an advocate for health over looks. Teach her to honor her body for all the amazing things it does do!
“Remove your body from the sounds and sights of stress, up toward the quiet, assuring pockets of nature, and walk it along at a pace that stretches it and honors it.” – CJane Kendrick
5. Cut out the negative self talk and ditch the diet talk- Let’s be honest..this is where it gets hard. Changing the way we talk isn’t a piece of cake. It takes effort. A lot of effort.
Start with changing the way you talk about yourself and others. Don’t use the fat word. Not about yourself and not about anyone else. Just don’t. When it comes to your body don’t talk about the things you don’t like. Don’t talk about your love handles, or your flabby arms. Don’t mention that your thighs touch. Don’t talk about your body in sizes or shapes. Our obsession with weight and shape and appearance is fueled among women because we encourage it in each other. The way we talk about ourselves and others bodies has made it impossible for us to be at peace. If we want our daughters to focus on a persons real value and worth start with yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others.
6. No talking about dieting. Don’t teach her how to calorie count or about portion control to lose weight. Instead teach her about healthy eating habits. A good place to start is by reading the book “Intuitive Eating” It is all about listening to your body. This means learning how to distinguish between what your mind tells you and what your body does. It is going back to our intuition with food that we had as a child. If you want more info Google it. Buy the books. It is not an easy road but well worth the effort. Help her focus on how her body feels instead of how her body looks.
7. Communicate- Don’t be afraid to talk to her about her body. Talk to her about the things she likes. Talk to her about the things she doesn’t. Brainstorm with her healthy ideas on how she can overcome those negative thoughts. Listen to her. Talk to her about her role models and the people in the magazines she reads about. Help her understand what is realistic and what is a photo-shopped myth. Communication on this subject is so important. If you don’t talk to her about it someone else will. And it might not be what she needs to hear. Share the things you struggle with and what you did or are doing to overcome them. Take time each day to talk to her about the things that are bothering her.
At the end of the day I think the most powerful thing you can do as a mom for your daughter is love yourself. Unconditionally. If you do this she will know how to love herself also.
As I stated above, I am still a work in progress with all of this. I would never judge a soul for struggling with any of this. These are just my thoughts on how we can make change happen for the future of our little girls. I think the thing that will make change happen is by creating awareness. For moms. For our daughters. I pray that talking about this will start the change in the way our bodies as women are portrayed. I hope that by talking about it, one person gets the help they need, a little girl is saved from the path that I walked for 18 years. A mom is able to open the door to a conversation that she didn’t know how to start. I just hope somewhere, someone’s life is changed because we had this conversation.
As I always say be BRAVE and keep fighting the good fight warrior women!
xoxo
Kallie
I did this last night to myself and I paid a hefty price on how I viewed myself and this shop. When I started The Tailored Market I stopped following all the boutiques I bought clothes from because I wanted my purchases to be genuine. I didn't want to buy something just because I saw it selling like hot cakes on someone else's site. I didn't want to compare my pictures with their pictures and their style with my style. However last night a sponsored ad showed up on my Instagram from my all time favorite boutique and I caved. I spent the next hour slowly watching my inner critic come out in full flipping force. I finally shut off my phone and had made the decision this shop was a terrible idea and I was dunzo. My style sucks because the things I really love most times no one comments on or there are very few. My pictures are the worst things ever. Let's be real they are FAR from professional. It has nothing to do with not wanting them to be, and everything to do with money. I have big plans mapped out for the future but in the mean time I am working my tail off trying to get to where I want so those plans can happen, but THIS- what I am offering now sucks and I am done. As of last night I was saying screw the plans and dig a hole as fast as you can and hide in it because the clothing world would be so much better off without me in it and I should never show my face again. I could have left it there last night and I could have woke up this morning and deleted this whole page but I didn't.
Instead I reached out to a couple friends and I went to bed feeling better. This morning I woke up early to work on getting a few more orders shipped and this little tag was the first one I picked up to put on a package and it was the "perfect" moment. The one where you are reminded maybe just maybe someone somewhere is trying to remind you this place is for you- and it was just the answer I needed.
I am always going to find someone else to compare myself to in this world. I am always going to see those "perfect" moments in other people's lives. There are going to be other boutiques who are bigger and more perfect in my eyes than mine, but those things don't have to take away from me- or you.
I can offer you clothes here- but so can any other boutique. I can offer you good customer service- but so can someone else. I can offer you all the sizes- but so can another store. The only thing I can offer you that is different in this boutique equation is ME. I can offer you me and at the end of the day I have to lay my head on my pillow and know that it was enough.
I am not telling you this to feel sorry for me. I am telling you this because it applies to ALL of us. There are a lot of people who measure up to the equation but the one factor that changes the whole outcome is YOU. You change the equation because no one out there can offer and be exactly who you are. As hard as that can be to remember at times it is the simple truth. Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are and wasting something as awesome as you is a horrible, horrible idea.
We were all meant to SHINE- and yes, that includes you. The one reading this!
And now I will go to my shipping hole and hide until I have all my packages shipped. Happy Saturday my friends!
]]>So I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I type. Like I did the ugly cry 5 seconds ago type cry.
It all started this morning when I got an email from a girl who wanted to purchase some shorts but was too embarrassed to leave her size in a comment for everyone to see and from there I turned into a hot mess.
I started The Tailored Market because I wanted to create a space where ALL the bodies & ALL the sizes could come shop and feel comfortable. I wanted to try and take the power out of the number or the size and just let people shop knowing at the end of the day it is just a number and just a size and here we want you to come as you are. The number doesn't give any kind of measurement for the person you are. It just doesn't and it never will.
A few months ago I started really struggling with my body image. I got an IUD after my last baby and I put on 18 lbs within the first 6 weeks of having it. It was really, really hard for me to look in the mirror at myself and if I did I became super mean to the image staring back at me. I pulled out every trick in the book I learned in eating disorder recovery and not much was helping me shift my focus. One day I came across an article where a mother shared an experience with her daughter and how she shifted her focus from always being hard on her to choosing to love her through the hard moments by simply reminding herself to "Choose Love Today." and for some reason that hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only did it apply to parenting & strangers on the street it applied to me and my body too. I could choose to hate it. I could sit in front of the mirror and pick it apart and cry and scream and the only thing that would change was how deep & dark the hole to self hatred would get. So I made it a goal whenever I found myself engaging in horribly mean self talk I would take 2 deep breaths and say out loud "only LOVE today Kallie. Choose LOVE today."
Here is the thing my friends- we will have babies, we will go through hard things and turn to food or not to food, we will age, we will get sick, we will get healthy and through all of those things our bodies will change and most of those things we can't help, but what can remain a constant in our lives is choosing to see ourselves clearly through and underneath it all.
So today when you find yourself being mean to others and especially yourself I hope you will remember to choose love, because in this house, in this moment and in THIS body there will be ONLY LOVE TODAY!!!!
PS...I LOVE this saying so much I am in the process of making it into a 4x4 wooden sign to hang in my family room as a reminder to choose love in every situation if I can. I also loved it so much when I started working on my packaging with a friend we included it on our inspirational quote tags, along with 40 other inspiring quotes because I want you to have a reminder when the package comes there is so much MORE to you than a silly number. I am hoping in some way it will make you smile & brighten your day when you open it. (These tags will be here in the next couple of weeks and I can't wait to show you them and get them on your packages!)
Today's message is one I often use in my own life. One I use to challenge the negative thoughts that pop into my head more than I like to admit. Here is something I want you to think about...
Who told you....
you weren't enough
you weren't pretty enough, skinny enough, tall enough, talented enough, kind enough, smart enough, patient enough?
Who told you...
you were ugly, or fat, or unloveable or stupid? Who told you?
If the world had never told us fat was ugly, ugly was unacceptable, failure was inevitable, stupid was your fate, talents were lacking..would we know any different?
Would we know...stretch marks were ugly?
Would we know a size 16 was considered plus?
Would we know less than was failing?
What would we not know and what would know if no one had ever said...you are fat...you are stupid, you are not enough, you are ugly.
Just think about it for a second...
The next time you have a negative thought about yourself I want you to challenge it. I want you to ask yourself where is this thought coming from? Because who is telling you will change your perspective.
For me I strive to hear the still small voice- God's voice and more times than not his isn't the one telling me I am not this and not that. When I am still I often times here the little voice whispering- you are enough, you are beautiful, you are talented, you are kind, you are important, you are loved. Whose voice we listen to reflects greatly in how we see ourself.
Chose to see yourself the way you really are and not the way the world would tell you to be!
xoxo
Kallie